Figuring out the CHART

I’m starting to chart my cycle. It’s not as easy as the cart makes it seem. You look at the chart and it look at you and says: “take you temp-put it here. Check your wetness-define it as ‘D,’ ‘P’ or ‘CM.’”

Oh so deceptive of you, chart.

I found out you can take your temp orally (thank god! Wow I feel like an idiot) as long as you stay with that method and take it at the same time each day. I usually take my temp twice and I always seem to get 2 radically different numbers the first and second time, so I just keep taking it over and over until I see some kind of pattern. But then do you write down the median, the highest temp, the lowest, or the one that comes up most often? The chart offers no answers on this.

 I don’t even think I have the right thermometer. I need a “basal” thermometer. I Goggled it and what came up LOOKS like the thermometer in my bathroom, but I can’t remember if when I bought my thermo if it said it was a “basal.” I bought the thing when I had the flu and my main concern at the time was that it just spit out a semi correct visual representation of how crappy I felt.  I’m just going to buy a new one and in the meantime I’m not charting my temp.

Then you have to designate your wetness (I’m not calling it mucus more than I have to) as “D” for dry,  “p” for period, or “CM” for cervical mucus. It would seem so simple, but I have this overwhelming need to write in the margins about every little thing that does not fit so neatly into those three abbreviations. ”D” is never really dry, no woman should be baby powder dry down there unless there is a medical condition.

And oh god, if I forget to do it for a day! I really can’t think back 24 hours and remember what was going on down there! Perhaps that makes me bad charter. Perhaps good charters can recite from memory what their vajayjay has been doing for the last 2 weeks.

So why am I charting in the first place?  At first I thought it was just because the baby book told me to do so, and I the good little solider was following orders. But I think I figured out the use of the darn thing.

I’ve always been pretty good at knowing when I’m ovulating. I can actually usually FEEL a twinge when my eggs release, I’ve noticed the change in my “CM” around that same time and it was not great leap for me to make the connection. But that only meant that I understood that I was ovulating only after it occurred. I had no idea when it was coming, only after it had been.

The point of the chart should be to help me know when to expect it a few days before it happens. This is obviously going to help when it comes time to inseminate.

This is what I don’t want the point of the chart to be: I don’t want to become obsessed about it. I don’t want to get guilt ridden if I forget a day. I don’t want it to be one more thing in my life that I feel like I have to be perfect at. I don’t want it to dictate to me.

The good news is I’m in control of all of those things. The first step in trying to get pregnant is coming to understand when you are and aren't' fertile. It's simple, know your body. Don't just be a passenger in your own body wondering what those strange sound are coming from the engine. Know what's under the hood.

I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. The first month of my chart may look a mess, but I'll soon be able to do this in my sleep, I hope!