Honestly? I think the hormones are doing their fair share. I don't remember thinking about children all that much before about 2 years back. At the time I was amicable to the idea, but not latched onto it. Then suddenly about a year ago it hit me full force. I realized not just how badly I wanted a baby, but how badly I wanted to have a baby with LAURA. It's like my mind suddenly connected that 2+baby=family. Not in a numbers way but rather in the context of working together for something outside of yourselves.
I know pregnancy is nothing to sneeze at. Even with me not being the one to carry, I know that means a lot of chores/responsibilities are going to fall on my shoulder. I remember when my friend Jackie at work got preggers. She was trying to be real careful due to previous complications so we all pitched in and helped deck scrub and mop for her. Depending upon the recovery time (I think 8 wks is common for c-section) I'll likely be caring for momma and baby + chores and work as well. I want to feel like I'll do everything perfectly. Pregnancy books make me feel so paranoid. Like allowing Laura one coffee with screw up or kid forever or something. I talked to my mom about it and she said the books aren't meant to make you paranoid, just more knowledgeable. She also said we should focus on dropping a few lbs. "It makes it harder when your already putting on pregnancy pounds PLUS your carrying like 15-20lbs extra from before."
But still, knowing all this, I still want a baby. Hell i want 2! (No we are not going to get preggers at the same time *shudder*) I want to help create a life and bring it into the world. I want to love it & teach it & raise it! I know it's going to change everything about our lives. I know that I don't know but I KNOW that I don't know. Nobody KNOWS until they actual have one. But I feel like we have so much to give and I want to give it all to this little life we helped make.
0 comments:
Post a Comment